summer time blues

Ok, I'm not really blue. But sometimes I get a little worried about summer. Being a single mom and having A home a lot more is exciting and nerve producing all at the same time. I want to be super mom and always have great ideas and be prepared for taking A on fun adventures. But sometimes I'm so tired and a nap seems to be all I can get done. One of the best things about A being with his dad is that they do a lot of outdoor activities which I can't seem to do.

It's an internal struggle I have and not just while I'm with A. There's always something I would like to be doing and rarely do I have the stamina or gumption.

I need to take things one day at a time and do what I have the power to do (I don't think I came up with that one). Fibromyalgia can be soul sucking and I often give it that power.

So I resolve to give myself a break this summer. To try some new things, to push myself when I can. I will rest when I need to and dance whenever possible. I will meet some new people and snuggle with A a lot. I will try to live as if I had the energy I did when I was 29. Oh, wait...I didn't have energy then, either. Ok...cut that last one.

Heck, you know what I mean.

Peace

Raccoon Love

I am finally ready to tell the tale of my raccoon (or as I have come to call her, the other woman). It all started four weeks ago when the lovely gentlemen I hired to put new siding on my house ripped into the chiminey and found HER. Oh, and her five babies, eyes not yet open. I had known about a raccoon which had visited last year and a few hundred dollars later had been trapped and moved to another part of the state. Only to return a few weeks later with a vengence. But then winter came and she was gone.


But here she was. Maybe the same raccoon, maybe different. But no matter, a mother none the less. I wish those intrepid workers had moved her babies away from the house (you can touch them and they will still take care of the babies.)

She lived there for three noisy weeks. At some point, critter control found her babies and rescued them (for a measley $499.99). Apparently, there are people in the world who enjoy raising up baby raccoons and then setting them free (probably to come back to torture those who live in the house where they were born but that is yet to be seen.)

She made noise. She taunted me. She chewed her way into my game closet and peed all over A's kindergarten art work which was stored there. She peed on my games. She peed on my pictures. My life turned into smelly raccoon pee.

And we tried to trap her. Live traps of course. She played with them at night. Knocking them around with her nose or paws, banging on the roof right over my bed. I turned into a crazy woman who took to yelling "you're ruining my life" at her whenever I heard her. No response from her, of course. But I could swear I heard raccoon chuckling as I was fading to sleep each night.

And then my friend Jana gave me an idea. And I did it. One night, just before bed, I opened that closet door and yelled: "Raccoon mama, I have a friend named Jana. And she has a friend who has a gun. If you don't find your way into my trap so I can re-locate you peacefully, I'm going to have him come and remove you himself." I didn't tell her what he would do with the gun. I figured she would probably know.

I was bluffing of course. Sort of. I don't believe in guns. But, really, I don't believe in raccoon pee either. Turns out, however, they both exist.

She was in the trap the next morning. No joke.

Happy mother's day mama. And to all you mothers who have to pee in someone else's closet just to get by, here's hoping you find freedom, sunshine, and a home of your own.

Pain in the #$%^$!

Well, it's official...my knee, which has been hurting for a few weeks...has a problem. I have a knee "problem". I went to amazing rheumy doc today to have her look at my knee and possibly get a cortizone shot. She agreed that the shot was a good idea
(although she wouldn't have thought of it herself) and in the process of having a needle ground around in my knee, she removed a bunch of fluid. Surprise! Not a fibro problem, a "knee problem". So I'm to sit and rest for a week (which I will do as I'm traveling to KC!) and see if it gets better. If it does, good. If it doesn't, voila, problem.

The bigger issue for me is that once again, A has to deal with a mommy with an unidentified pain issue. He's been through my cut hand which needed stiches, my broken ankle which needed surgery, my broken hand and wrist - surgery again. I know he just waits for the other shoe to drop. And I dropped it. It's hard to reassure him over and over that I will be fine when I don't walk fine or do our daily activities fine.

This sucks.

The Tulips

The tulips have died since you were last here.
The tulips have died
And the chives have gone to flower.
The dandilions are white
and even the breeze has disappeared.
I wonder
if spring is over.