Well. I'm doing it. I'm eating blueberries. I don't like them, particularly, but one can only read a thousand or so notices that scream that blueberries are a superfood before thay find themselves in the grocery store, staring at the blueberries, hand reaching out, taking a box, and placing them, almost offended by their superfood status, in the grocery cart with the squeeky wheel that pulls to the right. (Thanks, Ms. Greiner for the English lesson - I'm sure that sentence broke a couple of rules).
What is it about us and things that are good for us? We have a love hate relationship with all things healthy and life-giving. Well, often we have a hate-hate relationship with such things. Cue the blueberries.
Maybe my new year's resolution should be to let some of the things that are good for me into my life this year. But, it's not.
My new year's resolution is to recognize the things in my life that are already good. There are so many things in this mixed up bundle of days, weeks, and months that are positive and lovely. It will be a pleasure to honor those things in how I live.
Oh, and I'm starting yoga.
Happy New Year.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wow!
Well, it seems someone actually reads my blog. Thanks to you, mystery man. I love/hate JoCo too.
Andrew is back in school and I'm worried that things might get scrappy. He's having trouble reading and writing and, while he's only in second grade, it frustrates him and worries me. Reading has always been second nature to me - since I was three years old. I'm passionate about it, and so is his dad. I'm sure, to a young boy who sees books and people reading everywhere, not being able to read is a pain. A pain in the ass and a pain in the heart.
I've been feeling good. Really good. Really stinking good. I actually went tubing and snow mobiling this past break and, I must say, I'm an avid winter sports enthusiast now. Whew! Not that I'm planning on skiing or snowboarding...but I would say two winter "sports" counts as enthusiasm. At least for me.
I keep saying that there's only a few people I used to love or have a relationship with that aren't on facebook. But it turns out, those people are popping up too. Well, who knew we would find each other again. Every time I get a friend request, I wonder if the one or two people I am waiting to find are there - just a click away. And it turns outm they are - most of them. And then we find each other and go back to an odd type of silence that says, "I know you're there, but I'm not really going to talk to you any more than I did before I "befriended" you. Just to make sure you don't think I'm too into you."
Wierd.
And can you tell, I spend a lot of time on facebook. And I still love it although I fear our love affair won't last forever.
Andrew is back in school and I'm worried that things might get scrappy. He's having trouble reading and writing and, while he's only in second grade, it frustrates him and worries me. Reading has always been second nature to me - since I was three years old. I'm passionate about it, and so is his dad. I'm sure, to a young boy who sees books and people reading everywhere, not being able to read is a pain. A pain in the ass and a pain in the heart.
I've been feeling good. Really good. Really stinking good. I actually went tubing and snow mobiling this past break and, I must say, I'm an avid winter sports enthusiast now. Whew! Not that I'm planning on skiing or snowboarding...but I would say two winter "sports" counts as enthusiasm. At least for me.
I keep saying that there's only a few people I used to love or have a relationship with that aren't on facebook. But it turns out, those people are popping up too. Well, who knew we would find each other again. Every time I get a friend request, I wonder if the one or two people I am waiting to find are there - just a click away. And it turns outm they are - most of them. And then we find each other and go back to an odd type of silence that says, "I know you're there, but I'm not really going to talk to you any more than I did before I "befriended" you. Just to make sure you don't think I'm too into you."
Wierd.
And can you tell, I spend a lot of time on facebook. And I still love it although I fear our love affair won't last forever.
Monday, December 8, 2008
If I wait
If I wait for something exciting to happen, I might never blog again.
I did have a great time recently going to Chicago with my parents. Chicago. The town in which I was born. We visited the old apartment complex - well really, I stood outside of the cab in the snow and took a picture while they stayed in the cab and gave their respects.
I love spending time with my parents. I know it's a gift to have two parents who are my friends. I would rather hang with them than just about anyone. They took me to some fab restaurants for some great dinners.
And - most of all - we saw WICKED! Oh my God. Loved it. I love the book, I love the musical. I used to think I wasnted to play Elphaba before I died. But now I realize that I really would love to play Madame Morrible. What a great character! I've been singing Wicked music for weeks now.
The three of us stayed on Michigan Ave (in the Marriott) and went shopping at Macys! We had a great time and I'm thankful for the time we spent together.
And then Saturday I took Andrew to see the Nutcracker at the Colorado Ballet. Lovely. I had never seen it. We both agreed the first "half" was the best. I loved the costumes most of all. All of these great performances remind me that I need to make time to go to the theater more. And there's some great stuff coming to Denver in 2009.
Happy Late Thanksgiving.
I did have a great time recently going to Chicago with my parents. Chicago. The town in which I was born. We visited the old apartment complex - well really, I stood outside of the cab in the snow and took a picture while they stayed in the cab and gave their respects.
I love spending time with my parents. I know it's a gift to have two parents who are my friends. I would rather hang with them than just about anyone. They took me to some fab restaurants for some great dinners.
And - most of all - we saw WICKED! Oh my God. Loved it. I love the book, I love the musical. I used to think I wasnted to play Elphaba before I died. But now I realize that I really would love to play Madame Morrible. What a great character! I've been singing Wicked music for weeks now.
The three of us stayed on Michigan Ave (in the Marriott) and went shopping at Macys! We had a great time and I'm thankful for the time we spent together.
And then Saturday I took Andrew to see the Nutcracker at the Colorado Ballet. Lovely. I had never seen it. We both agreed the first "half" was the best. I loved the costumes most of all. All of these great performances remind me that I need to make time to go to the theater more. And there's some great stuff coming to Denver in 2009.
Happy Late Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Old Friends
So many old friends!
Through the latest and greatest social networking sites I have encountered a lot of old friends. Old loves - old crushes - old buddies - old soul mates.
I almost can't believe how some of them have found me and I them. There are the stories of warning: I reconnected with one old love, only to disconnect a few weeks later. But, truthfully, it was an intense (and lovely) few weeks of reconnection.
I've reconnected with old friends - old crushes - some of whom don't look anything like I remember. Some of whom are sick. Some of whom are grouchy. Some of whom have welcomed me home with open arms.
Old best friends from college - dear ones I thought I would never lose - but those I had lost - are now found and celebrated.
Best friends I have lost and found number of times are still around and willing to engage in newness.
And it seems that more and more I can guess that if I search for an old friend, and they are not there yet, they will be within a week or so. I just "added" a friend of mine from camps/high school/college and I loved just seeing a picture of him with his baby!
And best friends I have always been with, always loved - those who have stuck with me through all of this - they're on there too and even with them, I know more about what happens with their day to day than when we only had the phone.
I guess I'm just being thoughtful - seeing F on here really made me smile. As do all my old friends. As do you.
Through the latest and greatest social networking sites I have encountered a lot of old friends. Old loves - old crushes - old buddies - old soul mates.
I almost can't believe how some of them have found me and I them. There are the stories of warning: I reconnected with one old love, only to disconnect a few weeks later. But, truthfully, it was an intense (and lovely) few weeks of reconnection.
I've reconnected with old friends - old crushes - some of whom don't look anything like I remember. Some of whom are sick. Some of whom are grouchy. Some of whom have welcomed me home with open arms.
Old best friends from college - dear ones I thought I would never lose - but those I had lost - are now found and celebrated.
Best friends I have lost and found number of times are still around and willing to engage in newness.
And it seems that more and more I can guess that if I search for an old friend, and they are not there yet, they will be within a week or so. I just "added" a friend of mine from camps/high school/college and I loved just seeing a picture of him with his baby!
And best friends I have always been with, always loved - those who have stuck with me through all of this - they're on there too and even with them, I know more about what happens with their day to day than when we only had the phone.
I guess I'm just being thoughtful - seeing F on here really made me smile. As do all my old friends. As do you.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Snow
It snowed last night. Finally! Living in Colorado, waiting for snow is like trying to scratch an itch you can't reach or control. We wait and wait. And it itches and itches. And I'm not a skiier or boarder - I just know that snow means winter. And winter is a big part of life in colorado. Every day past Halloween that it doesn't snow, folks here get a little anxious. It's like we know it's coming so come on already! And here it is.
Of course, a little snow in November doesn't mean the end of 60 degree days. Heck, a little snow in January doesn't mean that either. Yesterday it was 63 and I wore a long sleve shirt. Today, 32 and a coat. God, I love Colorado.
I downloaded some good ol' Brewer and Shilpey on my Zune last night. I heard them long ago in Kansas City at an outdoor concert. I didn't see them because we were listening over a wall. But I still remember hearing their music and falling in love. You've got to love a duo that come up with the line "one toke over the line, sweet Jesus." I mean, many of their songs are spiritual with a good dose of pot. Love it! It amazes me that I can carry around this tiny music maker (my Zune) with music that 10 years ago I could only hear on an album. A record. Remember those?
For a sweet while, my dear friend Lanie and I scoured vintage stores for records - old folkies like B&S, Melanie, JT, Carole King...I loved the hunt and I loved the reward. Beautiful music I listened to on my little turn table which reminded me of my Hippie self.
I miss her, sometimes, that old hippie me.
Of course, a little snow in November doesn't mean the end of 60 degree days. Heck, a little snow in January doesn't mean that either. Yesterday it was 63 and I wore a long sleve shirt. Today, 32 and a coat. God, I love Colorado.
I downloaded some good ol' Brewer and Shilpey on my Zune last night. I heard them long ago in Kansas City at an outdoor concert. I didn't see them because we were listening over a wall. But I still remember hearing their music and falling in love. You've got to love a duo that come up with the line "one toke over the line, sweet Jesus." I mean, many of their songs are spiritual with a good dose of pot. Love it! It amazes me that I can carry around this tiny music maker (my Zune) with music that 10 years ago I could only hear on an album. A record. Remember those?
For a sweet while, my dear friend Lanie and I scoured vintage stores for records - old folkies like B&S, Melanie, JT, Carole King...I loved the hunt and I loved the reward. Beautiful music I listened to on my little turn table which reminded me of my Hippie self.
I miss her, sometimes, that old hippie me.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
back to school
It's back to school time again. As I took A to his new 2nd grade class this past Tuesday, I flashed forward to three years from now - his 5th grade year and the final grade at that school. I could see us - him trying to keep me from embarassing him - and me trying to say "I love you" in a subtle way. And I felt now what I will feel then - it all goes by too quickly.
I have a number of friends all along the family raising spectrum. Friends with no kids, a new baby, a teenager, a grown family. And we all feel the same way - "Somebody tell us what to do and then stop time so we can get it done before this little stage is all over." I guess I'm just feeling a little bit of mortality and life stage angst.
Things have been changing for me recently - I'm feeling a big ol' push to get out of my rut...my well lived in and well loved rut. It's a safe place. I know who is going to show up and I know what they're going to do. It's me all the way. Especially when A is gone to his dads. Nothing much goes on and I'm mostly waiting around for him to come home so I can laugh some more. God, it sounds so sad when I see it all in black and white like this.
But I've learned some lessons recently, the biggest one being that when you trust someone to make a decision, don't be surprised when they make the right one. Sometimes we all hope for wrong decisions, I think. Well, for others to make wrong decisions. We don't plan on making them ourselves. And it surprises us when we do.
So I'm ready for fall. For good decisions and new friends. For 2nd grade innocence and fart jokes (he is 7 after all). I'm ready to embrace what's coming and celebrate what I've had. And I'm a bit wiser, too. Although, don't expect too much yet. I've still got a furnished rut I'm trying to sell. Anyone?
I have a number of friends all along the family raising spectrum. Friends with no kids, a new baby, a teenager, a grown family. And we all feel the same way - "Somebody tell us what to do and then stop time so we can get it done before this little stage is all over." I guess I'm just feeling a little bit of mortality and life stage angst.
Things have been changing for me recently - I'm feeling a big ol' push to get out of my rut...my well lived in and well loved rut. It's a safe place. I know who is going to show up and I know what they're going to do. It's me all the way. Especially when A is gone to his dads. Nothing much goes on and I'm mostly waiting around for him to come home so I can laugh some more. God, it sounds so sad when I see it all in black and white like this.
But I've learned some lessons recently, the biggest one being that when you trust someone to make a decision, don't be surprised when they make the right one. Sometimes we all hope for wrong decisions, I think. Well, for others to make wrong decisions. We don't plan on making them ourselves. And it surprises us when we do.
So I'm ready for fall. For good decisions and new friends. For 2nd grade innocence and fart jokes (he is 7 after all). I'm ready to embrace what's coming and celebrate what I've had. And I'm a bit wiser, too. Although, don't expect too much yet. I've still got a furnished rut I'm trying to sell. Anyone?
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Connections
I've been thinking a lot about connections the past two days. My first true love (ah, youth) contacted me on facebook after 16 or so years. I've been thrown back into a memory tailspin ever since. It's amazing to me that remembering comes so easily. It's like I saw him yesterday - I can still picture places we went and things we did. The relationship wasn't all roses. Hell, I was 17 when it started and he was 15 (yes, a younger man). But there is something sweet and innocent about the memories which have wrapped me up in a soft quilt of remembering.
And it's true, this type of connection hasn't been possible for long. Our social networking is growing by leaps and bounds. I guess the husband of a woman I grew up with is one of my old flames close friends. Or at least one of his facebook friends. Amazing the full circle-ness of it all.
And am I happy he contacted me? Yep. There's been some sort of healing the sorts of which I wasn't even aware I needed. He sent me a balm which is closing some open hurts - nothing that I could say has been bothering me for the past 16 years - but I cared so deeply for him it's nice to hear the I'm sorry.
And the truth is, it's giving me an opportunity to return to days I've long forgotten and remember myself, so full of hopes and promise, as I approach my 40th birthday. There is still some of that young girl inside of me and I'm happy to visit with her a while and walk with her into the what's next.
Thanks.
And it's true, this type of connection hasn't been possible for long. Our social networking is growing by leaps and bounds. I guess the husband of a woman I grew up with is one of my old flames close friends. Or at least one of his facebook friends. Amazing the full circle-ness of it all.
And am I happy he contacted me? Yep. There's been some sort of healing the sorts of which I wasn't even aware I needed. He sent me a balm which is closing some open hurts - nothing that I could say has been bothering me for the past 16 years - but I cared so deeply for him it's nice to hear the I'm sorry.
And the truth is, it's giving me an opportunity to return to days I've long forgotten and remember myself, so full of hopes and promise, as I approach my 40th birthday. There is still some of that young girl inside of me and I'm happy to visit with her a while and walk with her into the what's next.
Thanks.
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